- emily@arloandcopets.com
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“When we enter into a relationship with a dog or any other being we are seeking a connection or, perhaps more accurately, what we feel as a result of this connection: comfort, love, acceptance, peace, joy. What we are seeking and striving for is a quality of connection that is – hopefully- a mutually pleasurable state, a dance of two spirits moving in agreement."
As a guardian of a reactive rescue dog, as well as a pet care professional, I’ve thought a lot about training methods.
I mean, A LOT.
I also have a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology – so I have an inclination towards scientific methods and a natural curiosity about how the brain works, how learning happens, and how emotions impact that learning. It is not surprising that this information transfers extremely well from humans to animals.
Like humans, our pets have the capacity to feel a wide range of emotions. The difference is that our dogs are incapable of telling lies – or hiding these emotions. Think about that for a moment… if dogs are incapable of telling lies, it may also be true that they expect us to be equally truthful with them.
Our every interaction is telling them who we are as a person, showing them how they can expect us to act, as if we cannot lie or have ulterior motives.
At the end of the day, whether with my own animals or with client pets, what I want is a positive relationship. I want our walks together, adventures, cuddles, playtime and learning to be rooted in mutual respect and genuine enjoyment of the other’s company. And to make that happen, I need to make sure that my care philosophy will help those positive relationships form.
Relationship-based care aims to foster communication and a strengthening of the bond between the pet and person. In order for me to do that in practice, I am continuously learning about animal behaviour and body language to identify the sometimes subtle cues they use to tell us how they are feeling. It puts the focus on an individualized approach for each pet. This takes time and dedication, but is worth every minute!
If relationship-based care is my philosophy – it is fair to say that positive reinforcement training is my technique. Positive reinforcement is based on the psychology principle of operant conditioning. You know, like the guy with the rats from PSYCH 101! (For those familiar with B.F. Skinner’s work, yes, I am aware that research methods involving animal testing have questionable ethics… and no, I would not endorse this type of experiment be repeated today).
Positive reinforcement in the world of dog training means giving rewards for desired behaviours. Pairing that with my relationship-based philosophy means that the specific reward could look different to each animal. Do they love treats? How about pets and cuddles? Or do they get absolute joy from playing tug-of-war? Training with positive reinforcement means showing the animal that when they behave in the way we would like, they get rewarded. Pretty sweet, right?
Because my care philosophy is relationship-based, I will never advocate for the use of aversives (or otherwise called punishment in operant conditioning lingo). “Tools” that some dog trainers use such as prong collars, shock collars, and choke chains work through operant conditioning. The “training tool” introduces a punishment (you might hear the word “correction” in the world of dog training) for certain behaviours in order to tell the dog not to do it.
For example: dog tries to pull on leash → prong collar digs into the sensitive skin on their neck causing pain → dog stops pulling. It works.
But it works because the dog is uncomfortable and fearful of repeating that discomfort. And that is simply not something that I am interested in using to form my relationships with the animals around me.
I am Arlo’s guardian. I may be her “owner” in the legal sense, but that is not the best way to describe the relationship I’ve built with her. Owner implies the dog is property. An object to commodify, and simply obey commands. In reality – she is a living, breathing, amazingly smart creature with her own desires and needs. She is family.
This change in perspective can help us understand the roots of different training methods we might see in the animal world. Is the animal an object to serve a purpose for the owner, and nothing more? Or are they unique individuals to welcome into our lives, and build a mutually loving relationship with?
I try my best to lead my human relationships with kindness. It only makes sense to lead my relationships with animals in the same way.
Positive does not mean permissive.
Treating someone, whether human or animal, with respect and kindness doesn’t mean that boundaries do not exist. It means not being loud or hurtful or scary when enforcing those boundaries.
With all of our relationships, boundaries are healthy. The way your pet interacts with you, your family, and visitors is important and naturally comes with a set of boundaries. The animals in our care cannot instinctively know the rules of the house – they must be taught! And if taught with patience, understanding, and kindness they are much more likely to live in harmony with those rules.
Being kind to animals does not mean you aren’t guiding them and teaching them to behave appropriately along the way – it simply means your leadership doesn’t hurt them emotionally or physically.
My top priority as Arlo’s guardian, and when taking care of client pets is safety.
The boundaries we set for Arlo serve a purpose – for safety reasons, or to make our lives together more comfortable. Is she allowed to pull me on her leash? No, but I won’t pull her either – unless the leash needs to be used to pull her away from something unsafe like traffic. Is she allowed on our couch? No, but that is because the fabric is difficult to clean and we have made that a conscious boundary in our house, while providing her with plenty of other cozy spots to rest with us!
All households have different boundaries for their pets, and that is okay! As long as we are not making arbitrary rules for our animals to follow that serve no particular purpose, and we are enforcing those boundaries with kindness and not force – our pets are very likely to respect those boundaries.
No matter what you have done in the past, or what tools you are used to using on your pets, as long as we are trying to be better for our animals, and learning the force-free ways that we can communicate with one another – that is amazing in my books.
I still have so much to learn about animal behaviour, and how we can foster deep, meaningful relationships with the pets in our lives. I am also not a dog trainer. I will not pretend to be. And in fact, I often refer my clients to some of the amazing force-free trainers in my community to learn more themselves. It is through working with a team of dedicated trainers to meet Arlo’s needs, that they have inspired me to keep the positive momentum going.
My role as a pet care professional is to keep pets safe, happy, and healthy when their guardians cannot be with them. I am privileged to do that through relationship-based, personalized care that is tailored to their unique needs. Always force-free.
Always with their best interest at heart.
